The Condemned Review..

What do you get when you cross " Stone Cold " Steven Austin with a rip - off of Running Man and Battle Royale? You get a cheesy B - movie thriller that doesn't deserve to be on the big screen.. and yet it is - tomorrow.. Lionsgate's film tells the story of Joe Conrad ( Stone Cold Steve Austin ), who is awaiting the death penalty in a corrupt Central American prison.. He is " purchased " by a wealthy television producer and taken to a desolate island where he must fight to the death against nine other condemned killers from all corners of the world, with freedom going to the sole survivor..

Rated: [ R ]

Cinema release: 27th April 2007

Running Time: 113 minutes

Stars: ' Stone Cold ' Steve Austin, Vinnie Jones, Rick Hoffman, Robert Mammone, Tory Mussett and Madeleine West

Since its creation in 2002, WWE Films have released several theatrical endeavors under it's banner, co - producing The Rundown and Walking Tall and solely producing See No Evil and The Marine.. And now, in 2007, we are blessed with a new addition to the family, The Condemned.. And by blessed, I mean severely punished..

The Condemned tells us the story of a millionaire television producer, Breckel ( Robert Mammone ), who has a dream: to broadcast a fight to the death, between 10 death row convicts from all over the world, on the Internet.. The last convict standing after 30 hours will be set free and given a large payoff.. Taking place on a small, unnamed island, he assembles a crack team of producers and cameramen and goes to work.. Out of these convicts, the film centralizes on Conrad ( Famed wrestler Steve Austin ), who was prisoned in Central America and must make it out alive to get back home to Texas and his girlfriend..

The film, like most of the B - level action genre, has little plot and is unapologetic about being a cross between several films that came before it ( In this case, Battle Royale, The Running Man and the lesser known No Escape and The Game come to mind).. And for that, I give it credit for at least being aware that it is a painfully obvious clone.. As far as this aspect plays towards the entertainment factor; not so much..

The death scenes are very unapologetic and brutal for a film of this caliber and for this, I will also give the filmmakers some credit.. For these scenes, the film seems to switch from action to the slasher genre.. Everything from rape to slit throats to other depraved acts are presented for the audience..

The aspect The Condemned suffers from the most is the ridiculous subplots, of which it has three.. Three subplots for a film with almost no recognizable central plot.. The fact that all three of these are very cliché and boring does not help the film at all.. If anything, taking them out would have reduced the running time by about 20 - 30 minutes and made the film much more enjoyable.. We have the girlfriend subplot ( Which was the most pointless out of the three ), the FBI subplot ( Which gives the audience some hope for our hero but is never really shown as doing much of anything ) and the inner turmoil among the show's crew..

Another big beef I have with the film is the camera work.. Every time a fight scene pops up, we are treated to cinematography similar to The Blair Witch Project.. The live events are shot better than this film.. With the WWE behind it, you'd figure they would at least stage the action scenes well and employ competent people for this component of the film, since that is what they do for a living..

The film does manage to entertain in a few segments.. The dialogue, while awful, works towards the humor of the film.. You will be chuckling at humor so bad it's funny and many unintentional moments as well.. More so with the unintentional moments, which Vinnie Jones ( Snatch, X-Men: The Last Stand ) provides the majority of..



The Condemned fails on many levels and succeeds only minorly in capturing the B - grade action films of the 80's.. Even from an action standpoint, the film has little to offer, opting to instead show us what is going on in the broadcasting control room than what is going on with our characters on the island.. With some better pacing and about 30 minutes cut out of it, it could have been an moderately enjoyable action flick.. Instead, we are stuck with yet another WWE action film that does not deliver..

I give " The Condemned " 1 out of 5..